Experience Joy and Sorrow In the Same Moment: On the 50th Anniversary of JFK’s Assassination

I was bored. I had wanted to go to work but couldn’t, so I turned on the television and was watching JFK in the motorcade with Jackie and then—all of sudden—horror. I could not believe what I was seeing on television. Similar to the same experience for me when 9/11 happened, and then I had come home the day before from an amazing trip in the South of France.

That precious cargo, Stephen, was right at the WTC when 9/11 happened and to this day, every day, I am so thankful he is alive.

So there you have it. Experiencing joy and pain at the same time. In both cases I was filled with joy and love and pain. Joy that my beautiful baby was growing inside me when I saw JFK shot, and joy at such a wonderful trip my friend Michael had given to me in the South of France, and grateful that my son, Stephen escaped death on 9/11 and pain for all of the suffering.

I read a quote the other day and by Mark Nepo, the poet, with him saying “being able to experience beauty while also suffering.” So these few incidents came up immediately that I wanted to share with all of you.

My other precious cargo, my son, Eric, along with Stephen, lost their father to lung cancer many years ago, and in their grief, Eric got up at his dad’s funeral and shared a beautiful experience that he had remembered about his dad. “His dad’s large chubby hand holding Eric’s young hand, while his dad was fighting for the right for he and his kid to be part of a Yom Kippur service that they had not bought a ticket for.”

To top it all off last weekend a dear friend’s younger sister, just passed away at the age of 46. OMG. When my friend told me her sister had passed. I was mad. I wanted to scream and shout, “It’s not fair.” After the funeral in NJ I came back to NYC. It was a gorgeous 60 degree day and I took myself to eat brunch outdoors in the warmlng delightful sun and had a lovely conversation with the owner of this new restaurant I was at while still experiencing the sadness of the morning.

Then there is another dear friend of mine who has been battling a severe case of aggressive skin cancer. I visited with him in the hospital while he was undergoing radiation and visited him on one of his good days. We had the most wonderful time together (thank you Jesus). We laughed, I cried and felt so fortunate that I had a friendship with this man that I will always treasure. “I love you WG”.

This isn’t something I understood during the times these events occurred until after 9/ll. That’s when it began to dawn on me that one has the power to experience joy and pain at the same time. It’s not anything to jump up about, but it certainly is something to be quietly grateful about and wanting to share with all of you.

May your lives be blessed with much joy and love.

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